Heresies of
The New Reformed Universal
Church of the Reality Deviant

(NRUCRD)

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The Heresies

............... The NRUCRD has entered into the realm of other big-time religions with the advent of our first Heretic, RHTG on The Solitary Circle. RHTG has shown great wisdom by not joining the NRUCRD, and further enlightement by publishing Tenets of his own. Since this is seen in the NRUCRD as exemplary Grouchy Behavior, RHTG is not only our first official Heretic, he's been named as Emeritus Grouch (EG) as well.

I've published the original thread here showing the development of the Heresies.


The NRUCRD Splitter
RHTG

===================

Sorry.
Cant be a part of any religion, philosophy, movement, ism, 4 part harmony, Star Chamber, Illuminati, or any other form of thought, organization or bunch of people loitering on a street corner that has 'Starbucks' mentioned anywhere within its tennants.

If you're gonna have a prophet, he/she/it/they should be in a disreputable coffee shop, minimum. Preferably a pub.

-RHTG
"Life's too short for cheap beer"
-Moto of the Sunset Grill


Re: The NRUCRD Splitter
cybele_13

===================

RHTG,
You could start your own denomination/splinter group/faction within the NRUCRD. You might even be the very first NRUCRD Heretic. Hmmmmmmmm?

-Cyb


Re: The NRUCRD Splitter
RHTG

===================

oooooooo. I like the sound of that.

The RHTGNRUCRD Heresies

1. I'm always right, even when Myrdrake proves otherwise.
2. Since NRUCRD claims they're always right, and I disagree with them, they are obviously a false religion.
3. Starbucks is a false prophet. And their coffee is weak and over-priced.
4. I snicker with condescending tones (no, really, I can do that) at your BUTT.
5. Since I didnt think of it, how great can it REALLY be?
6. Here, have a beer. All will become clear.
7. If it doesnt, eh, so what? Have another.

-RHTG


Re: The NRUCRD Splitter
red_cedars

===================

// If you're gonna have a prophet, he/she/it/they should be in a disreputable coffee shop, minimum. Preferably a pub. //

How much more disreputable can you get than The Temple of Starbucks?

As ever,
Red cedars
(Wow! ChristopherBlackwell is a True Prophet! He predicted this even as the NRUCRD was born!)


Re: The NRUCRD Splitter
RHTG

===================

See, heres why NRUCRD is a dupe of the Evil One.
No, not Bill Gates.
Not even Sandra Day O'Connor. Close. Not quite.
Yeah.
Rosie O'Donnel.

Not Disreputable because:
1. Starbucks is well lit.
2. Starbucks is not run by ex-hippies
3. Starbucks is legion. To be a truely divy joint, there has to only be one of you.
4. Starbucks is a megacorp. Could you picture cybperpunk crimials meeting in a Starbucks? No. Again, too well lit. Not film noire enough.
5. Nothing anywhere is hand-painted. Not the menue, not the store sign, not the chick behind the counter.
6. Like Rosie O'Donnel, but not as hot as Jeri Ryan, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. Rosie was some half-assed 80's comedian, now she has her own tv show? Her own magazine? There has to be some arcane and evil sorcery going on here. Same with Starbucks. They're everywhere - usually right across the street from the local coffee joint thats been there since the 60's. And not just coffee no more, neither. Nu uh. Icecream. Frozen beverages in your supermarket. Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money.

-RHTG, yeah, quote away, o slave of the corporate Man, man. The people have the right to know the truth, man.

"We went to the Philly Pizza Company and ordered some hot tea the waitress said 'well, no, we only have it iced' so we jumped up on the table and shouted 'ANARCHY!'"
-Dead Milkmen "Punk Rock Girl"

...............

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