The New Reformed Universal
Church of the Reality Deviant
(NRUCRD)

INASMUCH as every other big time religion on the planet has an Icon of some sort, and given the diverse backgrounds of the grouches in our fellowship we felt that it would be appropriate to devise an Icon for ourselves. It should be made up of all the Icons of every other known religion to signify our Unity within the UVL.

Well, that's what it should be. What we really ended up with was a big ball of twisted copper wire. Having tried unsuccessfully to produce the ideal, we realized that we probably didn't need an Icon after all.

"But it was then that the Messenger from the UVL appeared to the Prophet in the form of an Angel of Retribution. And taking up the Blessed Big-Assed Hammer, the Angel did smite upon the face of the nasty Icon. Yea, verily, mightily did the Angel smite the Icon until the Holy Hell had been flattened out thereof. And the Angel spake unto the Prophet saying "Woe be unto you, foolish Grouch. For know ye not that Creation belongs to the UVL? Verily Creation is sacred unto the UVL. With folly doth ye Create and seek to discard that which was Created. And it is for this reason that I have smitten thy creation and have Blessed it with the Blessed Big-Assed Hammer, that thee and thy fellowship shall know these things." "

And so it is that our first and most sacred relic is a ball of copper wire, twisted and flattened by the Blessed Big-Assed Hammer (hereafter refered to as the "Blessed BAH").

We have come to know this relic as the Blessed Universal Truth Talisman (hereafter refered to as BUTT). Each grouch in the NRUCRD has his own BUTT.

We take this responsability very seriously and when going out in public, we want others to know of our faith, so we wear clothing that shows our BUTT to its best advantage.

When we wish to bestow a special blessing we offer to let the blessed kiss our BUTT.

We also believe that "Hey, Nice BUTT!" is a fine compliment on an individual's obvious spirituality.