The New Reformed Universal
Church of Reality Deviants
(NRUCRD)

Covenant #1: Structure of the NRUCRD

In keeping with the divine inspiriation of Basic Tenet #4, here is the Structure of the New Reformed Universal Church of Reality Deviants:

Enlistee Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): Once an individual has become disenchanted with other religions, that individual begins to understand what it is to be a grouch and may be admitted to the NRUCRD, in the name of the UVL, as an Enlistee Grouch (EG).

Elder Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): After a time as Enlistee Grouch (EG), the individual may become even more skeptical and even more of a grouch. This will sometimes be evidenced by the publishing of Basic Tenets, Covenants, or other NRUCRD documents (divinely inspired by the UVL, of course). At this time, the individual may be advanced in the name of the UVL, to the level of Elder Grouch (EG).

Emperor Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): On occasion an individual will display so much skepticism that he/she leaves the room in disgust. This is seen as Leadership Potential in the NRUCRD and the remaining grouches in the room vote to elect the individual, in the name of the UVL, to Emperor Grouch (EG). Upon returning to the room, the Emperor Grouch finds him/her self Leader of a group of grouches that won't follow anyone. (This is not a coveted position in the NRUCRD.) (Which also explains why when the NRUCRD meets, no one gets up to go to the bathroom.)

Emeritus Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): Occasionally, an Emperor Grouch (EG) will show so much wisdom that he/she doesn't come back. This wisdom is rewarded, in the name of the UVL, with the highest level in the NRUCRD; the honorary title of Emeritus Grouch (EG).

We realize that all the the titles have the same abbreviation. What this system creates in confusion, it more than makes up for in consistancy and ambiguity.

Basic Tenet #8, Addendum: The NRUCRD Covenants are divinely inspired by the UVL, just as are the Basic Tenets. (We're not making THAT mistake again!)

Within the above established structure, some grouches have found a niche through further specialization into sub-cultures of the NRUCRD. These are as follows:

Extreme Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): This is the fundamentalist arm of the NRUCRD. Most Extreme Grouches stop reading the Basic Tenets after the first two words - "We're right". Further, when quoting, they'll often substitute the contraction "We're" with the contraction "I'm".

Evangelical Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): The Evangelical Grouches are the ones you might see in your neighborhood, going door to door, disseminating information about the NRUCRD. While the Evangelicals are certainly devout grouches, it must be remembered that the NRUCRD does not seek new members (Basic Tenet #6). The Evangelicals are only doing what they do because they like to argue. Click here for the Evangelical Grouch Rules of Engagement.

Ecclesiastic Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): While it could be argued that any grouch who is a member of any church would be an ecclesiastic grouch, in the NRUCRD, the term is reserved for those who see to the day-to-day functioning of the church, performing such tasks as making (and, of course, drinking) coffee, and … uh, … umm. Hey, what else is it you guys do?

Eclectic Grouch (Title abbreviated EG): There is a radical sub-culture within the NRUCRD that, for a variety of reasons, does not hold with some of the teachings of the NRUCRD. They choose to leave portions of the Basic Tenets and/or Covenants out of their belief system. To fill the resulting void they take bits and pieces from other belief systems. The result is a sort of "Ecclesiastical Goulash" of faith. You might find such eclectic combinations as "Buddhist Druid Grouch" or "Seax-Catholic Egyptian Reconstructionist with strong Hindu and Native American influences Grouch" who will all carry the title of "Eclectic Grouch". The Extreme Grouches (the fundamentalists), of course, do not recognize these Eclectic Grouches as true Grouches. This doesn't matter to the Eclectics, because they (the Eclectics) don't recognize the Extremes either. In truth, it is suspected that both groups would splinter off except they're sticking around for the coffee.